The Book: The Conversation
Author: Oludare Mayowa
Publisher: StepCraft Publishing
Reviewer: Eniola Mayowa
“The Conversation….Exploring the Gift of Words,” written by Oludare Mayowa, is a timely and evergreen book that will continue to be relevant from generation to generation as long as human relationships and family exist.
The conversational masterpiece deploys the strengths of prose, engagement, and dialogue in communicating the essence and important values of human relationships, including marriage and family. It provides a roadmap for individuals in relationships to have productive and meaningful conversations about what is most essential to families and the need to bring different perspectives to issues from real-life experiences that are quite relatable.
Mayowa, a financial journalist of repute, draws from his rich experience in human relationships and understanding of life issues with the attendant challenges of providing amicable solutions through dialogue. The Conversation provides deep insight as well as practical advice on how to overcome many biases on relatable issues such as sex, finances, childlessness, infidelity, etc., and create a more fulfilling and healthier home and family.
The conversation is divided into twelve chapters. The first chapter, titled No Excuse Too Little or Too Big,” touches on the need for couples to discuss issues dispassionately, as no excuse, big or small, will do the job of resolving nagging matters in the family. It also draws attention to the need for couples to have positive and engaging discussions rather than always seeing the exit door or quick involvement of a third party as the solution to marital challenges.
The second chapter, “Trust Issue,” explores the root causes of distrust and the ways in which it manifests itself in marriages. The ensured dialogues in this chapter emphasize the need to avoid assumptions while conscious efforts are made to build trust among couples.
“Money Matter,” which is the third chapter, encourages transparency on finances and financial position in the home, while “Is Sex Food,” which is the fourth part of the book, extensively discusses the importance of sex in marriage. “The Life of a Housewife” highlights the merits and demerits of the concept of the “housewife, a social system where a woman stays off regular work to dedicate her time to managing the home, husband, and children.
Chapter six, titled “Your Friend Is Cheating On Me”, centers on infidelity in marriage and the need to discuss any infraction that could jeopardize the marriage before it gets out of hand. Mama is a Witch, the seventh subdivision, focused on the mutual suspicions that exist between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law and highlighted a functional approach to resolving such suspicions to engender peaceful co-existence.
“She Wants Me Dead,” “the eighth chapter, offers a productive perspective on the matter of writing a will, the last testament of individuals with respect to the sharing of their properties after demise. The myths suggesting that writing a will is a signal for the exit of an individual were sufficiently debunked.
Chapter Nine highlights the problem of a number of African men who place so much emphasis on having a male child and who are quick to blame the women when the expectation is not met. “Why can’t she give me a son?” provided some education and offered solutions on the matter. The tenth chapter discouraged the need for individuals to compare their family with others rather than focus on and celebrate the uniqueness of their family with a commitment to self-improvement.
“I want a child of my own” is quite an emotional chapter that provides great insight into how couples should manage childlessness in marriage. It opens readers’ minds to what should be done in the moments of waiting to have a child and reiterates the importance of collective efforts on both parties in seeking the precious gift—a child or children.
The last chapter of the book, “This is too much to bear,” offers practical solutions to how couples should manage their individual interests without going apart. It highlights the importance of selflessness and consideration for the interests and needs of the other party for mutual benefits, bonding, and harmonious relationships in the home.
The Conversation is an essential book for anyone who wants to understand major challenges in marriage and how to work intentionally to overcome them, knowing that marriage is a congregation of two individuals from different backgrounds, orientations, and perspectives on issues of life. Mayowa’s clear and concise writing makes the topics discussed in the book quite easy for anyone to understand, deploying the powerful tool of dialogue.
The book is also full of practical advice that can be used to start productive conversations about a range of issues in marriage and family for intending couples. If you are interested in learning more about how to resolve marital and relationship matters and how to maintain a healthy bond with your spouse, then The Conversation is a must-read.
However, the author would do well to pay a little more attention to typographical errors spotted in the book. Some hyphens are unnecessary where they feature. Here are some of the things that I liked about the book:
Overall, I believe “The Conversation” is an exceptional book. It is a must-read for anyone who wants to understand marriage, family, and human relationships with an open mind and a dispassionate position toward mutual benefits.