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HomeExecutive BriefREFLECTION: Relationship and communication: The twin critical component of success

REFLECTION: Relationship and communication: The twin critical component of success

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By Oludare Mayowa


Two critical elements of success in life are the ability to communicate and sustain good relationships. These two elements are often responsible for the rapid advancement of many people, who had early in their lives recognised the need to develop the capacity for effective communication and intentionally cultivate good relationships by connecting with the right people.

Relationship has brought many people to high places they could never have imagined and has opened doors of privileged positions for many who are now bestriding the political and economic space today. Many of those who are making impacts today are able to do so because someone somewhere gives them the chance and the opportunity to showcase their talents and demonstrate their capability.

A number of people have offered their shoulders for others to climb, opening doors that had led others to the place of their destiny. But all these were made possible because those who benefited from such gestures had prior relationships with them, they share common interests and were true to their commitment to the relationship.

Equally, there are many people who ordinarily would have been the ones doing great exploits, impacting lives, and being in charge of the politics and economy today but for their inability to connect with the right people who can open the right door for them.

I will take a cue from the great master that has ever lived, the Jewish man who died over two thousand years ago, yet his fame keeps spreading all over the world even till date.

This man understood the importance of relationship and communication and he deployed the two elements all throughout his earthly ministry which span just three years, but the reverberating impact is still felt now and in generations to come.

In the first instance, right from the beginning of his ministry, he intentionally assembled 12 personalities that will work with him, learn from him and be the ones who will carry on his assignment after his departure from the earth.

It wasn’t for ordinary reasons he decided to choose people of diverse backgrounds, exposure, and leaning to follow him as disciples, it was because he had his eyes on the big picture and the fact that he understood the vision trusted on him by the one who sent him.

He deliberately built his relationship with the 12 core followers and ensure that he showed them the pathway to the future far beyond their comprehension and ensure that they were closely knitted through his journey with them to enable them to grasp the essence of his living.

Aside from his relationship with the disciples, his communication capability is still being unraveled at many levels of education across the nations of the world today because of their impact, uniqueness, and the fine distinction from the norms.

He communicated with his disciples and those who followed him in such simple, sometimes in parables and sometimes using multidimensional communication strategies to explain the mystery of life to them,

His core message of righteousness was not only driven home by his powerful communication ability but much more by the demonstration of his message through his lifestyle.

He was not a man who spoke out of order; he matched his word with his action and showed the world, unlike the Pharisees and the Sadducees, that it is possible to live by one’s word.

One of the examples of how strongly he valued his relationship with people was demonstrated at the tomb of Lazarus, his friend, who died after a brief illness. When he got to where his friend was buried, he wept, because he loved the dead man and yet, without allowing his emotion to take the better part of him, he sprang to action by ensuring that Lazarus benefitted from the endowment of the supernatural in him.

He simply called his friend back from the dead to life to the amazement of those onlookers who thought he was too late to do anything about his friend’s predicament. His action also endear him to many people who could feel his compassion, humanity, and genuine love for his friend.

He went to the house of one of his disciples when he learned that the mother-in-law was down with fever and laid hands on her for her to recover from her sickness. This showed that his friends and relationships were not neglected despite his tight schedule and the call of duty.

He never put himself in a position where he cannot be touched, he was accessible to both the low and the high and his preference is to make life beautiful and more abundant for the people he was called to reach.

He shared meals with his friends and followers without showing superiority, he often came down to the level of his disciples to demonstrate the fact that all men are born equal before God.

He rebuke when he needed to and also encouraged when it was appropriate and lastly, he set his house in order long before his death. He ensure that he communicated his succession plan with clarity to those within his circle.

His message touched both the old and the young. He ministered to the poor and the rich, and he related with those who could be considered the dreg of society and the upper echelon.

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He demonstrated possibility through his words and action and left no one in doubt of the reason he was sent to the earth.

It was the relationship he maintained while he was on earth that helped to sustain his legacy till date. It was the quality of his communication that many today are striving to emulate and live by.

What he was able to demonstrate through his relationship and words show that no matter how intelligent a man may be, no matter how powerful he may be, without the right relationship and the power to communicate his vision, the tendency that his vision will die with him is high.

I have seen many people today who take their relationship with people for granted, who in their pomposity neglect to build strong relationships because they believed that they are self-sufficient as a result of the little success they are enjoying.

Another great man I admired most in life was a person who had early in his life was almost drowned by misfortune. At age 14 when he was supposed to be under the coverage of his father, who had demonstrated his love for him, but was sold into slavery by his own siblings because of hatred and envy.

He too understood the power of communication and good relationship and he ensured that regardless of his circumstance, he held on to those two elements throughout his sojourn in the strange land.

In Egypt, where he was sold into slavery, he maintained cordial relationships with his master, his co-slaves, and others within his circle without allowing his misfortune to overwhelm him.

He was loved by his master to the extent that he was made to head his domestic department within a short time he joined the family. His communication, even in the midst of adversary was clear, precise, and on point and he also demonstrated his word by his doing.

Even when he moved from misfortune to misfortune, he never alter his way of life, he simply continue to connect with people within his circle, and he sustained his communication with the people on a higher level.

His commitment to his vision aided by the critical elements to succeed was the key he needed to open the door of the palace for him and he was brought from the prison to the palace to occupy his dream position in a strange land.

The question everyone should ask him or herself is; how do I treat people around me, those who God has brought into my life? How have I been able to manage the relationship?

Do I regard every relationship as opportunity to exploit and extort or the privilege to commit and explore? There is no relationship that does not have its inherent benefit, but you must always see beyond those apparent benefits that could accrue to you through your relationship with people.

When you focus on the benefits, you will likely miss the purpose of such relationship but if you see those relationships as mutual, you will discover the need to nurture, cultivate and water it to blossom into the giant oak that provides shelter, fruits, and support not only for you but for the rest of humanity.

Jesus’ relationship was not exploitative rather, he nurtured and developed people around Him until they become what he desire them to be and at the end of the day, the responsibility for the sustenance of his purpose on earth rest squarely on the same people he nurtured and sowed into their lives.

The same thing applied to Joseph, who grew his relationship with his master as a slave, went beyond the call of duty, and ensure that he build enough trust in his master through his commitment to what was committed into his hands.

Though the reward did not come through his master or immediately; eventually he reaped the reward of his commitment to relationship, what he sowed into others, he reaped.

It’s never too late to cultivate good relationships, it can never be too late to nurture the relationship you have and you can still regain some of the opportunities you have missed in time past if you consciously worked at it.

Learn to connect with quality people, and cultivate the habit of good communication, not necessarily becoming an orator, but learning to choose your words appropriate for each season and occasion.

Deploy clarity in your communication, make your vision visible to you and write them down and align your goals, dream, and vision with your action and lifestyle. Your communication is more effective by demonstrating your belief through your actions and way of life.

Let me leave you with this quote from the book of Ecc 2:14; “The wise man’s eye are in his head; but the fool walk in darkness.”

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